Fuck Your Silver Linings

Am I a monster of mentality

A sad little sonnet of dramatic lust and hate

Silly little sweat stories

Sugar coated with happy endings

Servant of the fairy tale

And the concepts of karma and fate



Progress said the sun

As it burned and dried my flesh

Cry said the river as it flooded threw my lung

Flow said the heart drained of all its blood

And sing said the bird who has never hurd a song sung



I do not know the difference

From my personality And a flaw

A riddle or a rhythm from a man without a drum

I can cut my eye's from the reflection in a mirror

But to slit my wrist I find less fulfilling then some



Im lost in a mystery yet to be solved

But im more normal the person who picked up this page

Im disturbed by the miseries that swallow my surroundings

Yet im content with the thought of learning with age

Suttle little thing
Walking along
Coat cloaked to the skin
Like a shield of armor
Fake smile
Rosy cheeks
But little do you see
Or should I say
Little have you looked
Morbid little thing
Bones rattled with anger
Skin crawling with silly little hate
Scary little thoughts run threw the mind of the child who walks gently across the street
But little do you know
Such a sweet little thing
Smiles when you wave her across the road
Catches that paper as it falls from the arms of an old man
Moves out of the way of every little stroller
Or gramma with a shopping bag
But little do you know
The mind of a child with such a sweet smile
Until you do you know
And its to late.

And so it feels like an ok day
but its not
like a sunset on a silver lining
pretty as can be
but masked by sweet suroundings and smiles of what you remember
what you want to remember
truth is
darkness still falls as the sun still sets
i kno this
memories are just as good as made for hallmark photos for show
I'll accept it
today
an ok day
I'll take it
even if it kills me tomorrow with and ironic double pronged fork
a new day of fuck ups
fuck you's
OD's
broken plans
being short on rent
breakups
breakdowns
shit
stepping on a nail
problem is i expect so much
and i want so little
or so i think
i hate nothing
i dislike everything
i want company
but im bored of your love
its been an ok day
no one's broken
rents not due
haven't cryed
yet
i guess thats worth something.

(this is a collabo from Henry Mccarty and Dirge of the scattered)


we are tired of your shadows,
the grass has been grown,
you eat the scabs of socios rot,
your character lack has shown,
worn out by listening to the bulls,
shitting the mind of our own
We don't need any more birds,
the coo coos nest all have flown

we the people fathom indiscreet
while the meek suckle the teat
The butterflies are dying,
and the worms always seem to cheat
and the factors wander round
like helpless mindless sheep
missing the piece to our puzzle,
that would make us complete

we, the truant, who balance the table
mind the slaughter of the stables
we fought what was our right,
but now reality, its all just cable
pop cultures thrust fed
though morbid and stale,
the colors are dimmed down,
skinned turned to pale

we turned off the tv,
and we listen to the silent air
nothing heard, nothing said,
nothing seen,nothing there
we're no longer in your network,
the price seemed to unfair
as we watched while you wallowed
in unknowing despair
So here We are waiting,
And our channels are now dead
We fight till we bleed
for the war is in our head

It is folly
it is wrong
it is obscene
it is flawed
it is reproach
it is scorn
it is self-righteous
it is fallen
it is aging
it is poor
it is wisdom
it is a slore
it is retarded
it is drunk
it is thoughtless
it is slumped
it is passed out
it is floored
it is on the wagon once more
it is retracting
it is ejaculating
it is sporadic
it is slacking
it is on the verge of ending
it is almost there
it is one more line
it is blank stare
it is over
it is done
it is going out
it is bar whore fun

Some say he always cried
He said he is always right
One day i turned to help him
To find he was lost at sight
He didn't want company
He gave up on his nightmares
Others noticed he was Loud
But in his head was the real scares
He chose to walk blindly
you cant possible understand
He never showed his emotions
from inside he was never a man
All he ever wanted
Was a chace to finally be heard
to undo from what was slavery
that felt twisted and absurd

Some say she never tyed
She said she's allways wrong
One day i turned to help her
To see that she had gone
She didn't want companions
She gave up on her dreams
Others noticed she was silent
In her head she held the screams
She chose to walk alone
This no one understood
She never showed her feelings
There was no way that she could
All she ever wanted
Was not the finer things
But to take back what was freedom
From what felt like puppet strings

Who am I
As I walk the road to work
I watch the leaves blow rite by as I tremble from the cold
The same day as the last
The same path the stale air the smell of dunkin donutts as a signal im 5 mins from my job
a job
I push over priced heart attacks on middle aged victums
And sweets to intoxicate little ones systems
Another drink I may ask
How was that steak as I walk by
I could care less if mid rare was well or if the chiken was still frozen
A bad sit com my life becomes
Replace the dead fish then off to work
Chew gum as I tap my pen on the pad that displays your poison so my mind dosnt forget to place your order
Every weekend the same
Every hour the same
A routine
A cycle
What if I didn’t show up
What if I slept someplace else last night And decide fuck this plan Screw this routin
Have a cup of coffie jump on the next train and go somewere new
No direction no plan no certainty youll make it past the next stop without doubt creeping on you and you turning back
What if I vanished
Would it matter
Would the steak come out 1 min sooner
Would the ice cream be less melted when placed in front of the sticky child ripping sweet n low all over the table
would anyone notice
one less sad face in the workplace
it’s a job they’ll replace me
its not like im the only one who can do it
im not even good at my job
then again I don’t like my job
it’s a reflection of my future that ive already steped into
what would you do
who am i.